Sunday, July 30, 2006

Pamela Waechter, Human, 1948-2006

This woman deserved to live.
Her name was Pamela Waechter. She was 58 when she was shot dead by a lone gunman who had forced his way into the Jewish Federation in Seattle on Friday. Five other women were wounded, including one who had saved her pregnancy by guarding her womb with her arm, which took the bullet.

It doesn't matter what the reasons for this hate crime were. He's a killer now. The genocide of Arabs being committed by Israel has nothing to do with Jews or Judaism. It is unjust war. Just as this hate crime was unjust.

Take a good look at Pamela. She was a sacred, sovereign human being. Ask yourself to ignore peripheral information, such as politics, and just look at her. The pain of losing yet another human being due to blind hate and confusion is enough. Just take a moment and mourn this one human being.

9/11 Poll Results

WARNING: lots of boring and impertinent details in this post. If you haven't had your coffee yet, I'd recommend skipping down to the previous post, which is impertinent but entertaining, and coming back here later.

A huge number of people (okay, 25) responded to my little "poll" about 9/11. The question was, "Where do you stand on 9/11?" Respondents were invited to check all that apply. I was only able to provide 10 possible answers due to Vizu's limitations; I would have preferred 20 or 25 possible answers, but I really liked Vizu's format. (If you didn't take the poll while it was on my blog, you can still take it here.)

The results include plenty of both "liberal" and "conservative" and "independent" voters; I know this because I have been loosely tracking their originating sites. Okay, so it's not entirely scientific. But you'll see some pretty clear-cut conclusions if you take a close look and take it apart.

First and foremost, I was glad to find out that only 16% of respondents said that the poll itself was "perfectly framed to register all possible opinion ranges." This demonstrates a natural awareness that the 9/11 issue cannot easily be broken down into the discrete categories I laid out. At first, that may sound like a cruel trick to play on people, but that wasn't the intention, as you will see.

My second favorite conclusion is that only 4% (one person) believed that all questions about 9/11 were settled long ago. That's encouraging. So, while not everyone necessarily agrees with me when I believe that 9/11 was an inside job, at least there is the generally held admission that we don't know all the answers.

Interestingly enough, the very same person who said that all 9/11 questions were settled long ago, did not say that he or she knew everything there was to know about 9/11. I know this because literally nobody said that they knew everything there is to know about 9/11, as I will discuss later. That proves conclusively that that one person is a self-contradicting moron. How can you say that all questions about 9/11 have been answered, when you fully admit that not even you know all the answers? How can you possibly verify that? How can you be such a parrot, a sheep, a lemming? Your convictions are absurd on their face, and they defy all logic. You just proved to us all beyond a shadow of a doubt that you don't even believe your own self-deluded doublethink. People are welcome to disagree, but don't just talk for the sake of it, or you're liable to get schooled by a tinfoil hatter. Get the hell off the Internet before you stub your thumb on the "any" key. Just go. Grab your pills, get the bottle of Jack out from behind the couch, flip on the Fox News, and just be as happy as a pig in shit for all eternity, okay? Whatever blows your skirt up, you know?

Don't worry, I detected no further stupidity than in that one respondent. Amazing how a silly little poll can really work this blogger into a self-righteous tizzy. Deep breaths. Deep. Breaths. Ten, nine, still mad, eight, seven, not so bad, six, five, four, feeling calmer, three, calmer, two, one. Okay, I'm cool now. No worries. Moving on.

It seems almost everybody agreed that some-to-all of the facts about 9/11 were withheld by those who are truly in-the-know, but not necessarily because of a dastardly plan to deceive the public. 32% believed the cover-up was motivated, at least in part, by security concerns. 32% believed that incompetence had something to do with the reasons behind any possible cover-up.

At this point I need to admit that some of these questions were muddled with qualifiers, so that some of the answers had to be judgment calls. I intentionally chose the possible responses based on what I perceived to be the Zeitgeist, rather than based on a more rational method. However, it is highly worth noting that 20% of respondents said they believe that some details were withheld to protect guilty parties, and a whopping 40% of respondents believe that most of the guilty parties are Americans, hands down.

At this point, you're probably thinking that that 40% number seems pretty high. Your skepticism is worthy of acknowledgment, for two reasons. One, only 25 people responded, which brings a large margin of error; and two, I could have easily targeted this poll to people whose opinions I already know. To the first charge, you're right. Small sample. Nothing I can do about it. However, that 40% number happens to be about on par with the national polls Zogby has been doing. To the second charge, I can honestly say I have been spending a lot of time baiting "conservatives" and avowed neocons alike into visiting my blog. This was to counterbalance the inevitable alliances of common interest and values that one naturally accumulates in the blogosphere over time. What I saw was a lot of "conservative" bloggers visiting my site (verified via Site Meter) during the same time points at which the poll numbers changed. Enough of them came over here to satisfy my desire for a modicum of balance.

Only 8% (2 people) believe that no commercial airliners struck any buildings. This may sound crazy at first, even to a 9/11 researcher, but their answers were probably based on the ongoing dogged analysis of possible television footage doctoring that some allege is responsible for some kind of near-universal delusion. Their contention may or may not include some reference to the idea that people can actually be brainwashed into believing that their own eyes deceive them, and that television is a more reliable means of interacting with one's exterior existence. There is real evidence for this phenomenon, but I myself am not at all ready to delve into the frustrating world of TV fakery detection and the wild and woolly world of the Jungian collective unconscious and memes and whatnot. I just don't have that kind of time right now. Therefore, I was not one of the two people who checked off that box. All I'm saying is listen.

Finally, there were the three self-assessment questions, which can be summed up into one question: How much do you think you know about 9/11? As I said before, nobody was arrogant enough to claim that they know everything there is to know about the subject. That's a relief. Nobody fell for that one. I don't need to explain, then, just how complex this topic is. To my amazement, only 40% of respondents felt that they know more about 9/11 than the average joe. I really respect that kind of honesty. That figure makes sense, too, since it's not so far off from 50%, which, by definition, is average. So if you checked off that box, you probably really do know more about 9/11 than the average joe.

Also to my amazement, 20% of respondents admitted that they know little about 9/11. That's a huge thing to admit, even to oneself. It's extremely important that we exercise that kind of humility at all times; it's one of the basic preconditions for learning and discovery. I myself could learn a lot from this category of humble poll respondents.

So to recap:

"All of the official story is accurate. All questions about 9/11 were settled a long time ago." 4%

"All of the official story is accurate, but some details were withheld for security reasons." 32%

"Most of the official story is accurate, but some details were withheld to spare the INCOMPETENT." 32%

"Most of the official story is accurate, but some details were withheld to spare the GUILTY." 20%

"Very little of the official story is accurate, and most of the guilty parties are Americans." 40%

"None of the official story is accurate. Commercial airliners did not strike any buildings." 8%

"I feel I know everything there is to know about 9/11." 0%

"I feel I know more about 9/11 than the average joe." 40%

"I feel I know little about 9/11." 20%

"This poll is perfectly framed to register all possible opinion ranges." 16%

So. There you go. I hope you learned something. I sure learned some things. I like experiments. Now how about something a little more lighthearted? Enjoy the new poll.

Kevin Barrett Eats Babies

If you've been following the Kevin Barrett scandal in Wisconsin, you already know that this professor hates America. First he went on a "conservative" radio program and said that there are pink elephants dancing polka on the dark side of the moon. Then he went on Hannity and Colmes to talk about spuds and other nutritious roots and tubers, and oh boy did he lose that debate! Booya! Then Bill O'Reilly pretty much put Barrett in his political grave when he said Barrett belongs "in the Charles River floating down, you know, toward the harbor."* High five!

But wait. Soon after Fox News rightfully exposed Barrett as a Def Leppard denialist and astutely advised their viewers to shoot Barrett, the University of Wisconsin Provost Patrick Farrell released a statement to the effect of: "I like Kevin Barrett. Kevin Barrett is my best friend. I like his hair, and he is an excellent speller."**

It was starting to look better for Barrett. And that's no good for America. So State Representative Steve Nass courageously dashed to the rescue, by rounding up 60 other State Representatives to sign off on a formal demand that said, "Kevin Barrett is a poopy butt. Fire him and give him a 'nuggie' or a 'snakebite' or at least a round of 'Ten Pops'. And this has nothing to do with a perfect excuse to cut state funding for higher education, which has never in the past been our goal. Oh, and more pop machines for the hallways. Me for Class President!"**

Now, you would think this would be enough to wake people up to the reality of Kevin Barrett and his smelly patchouli. But no. He still has a job, there have been no schoolyard pranks of any kind, poor people are still getting smarter, and the pop machines are still being unfairly terrorized by a box full of NutriGrain bars. On the bright side, Mark Green might become class president.***

In the ancient words of Eminem, "this motherfucker won't die." "Go to sleep, bitch! Die motherfucker die! Unh! Time's up, bitch! Close your eyes and go to sleep bitch!"*

It ain't happening. Barrett is alive and well, and he is still loved by all the comic book bad guys, including Lex Luthor and Gargamel. Plus a handful of millions of white bread American terrorists, according to a recent Zogby poll. This can only mean one thing: Barrett won't die because he is dead. He's a zombie, man! Or at least a vampire and a pagan both rolled up into one. And we all know what pagans do.

Kevin Barrett eats babies.

Oh, plus he's some kind of 9/11 "denialist" or something.


* Actual quotes.

** Not actual quotes. I know, it's hard to tell the difference.

*** Incidentally, U.S. Representative from Green Bay of the Not-Green Party Mark Green is running for governor on a platform that favors a triple-threat playground prank of nuggies, snakebites, and Ten Pops. He also favors having more things that have "Green" in their names or that incorporate the color green, such as dirty money funneled to him by Tom DeLay.****

**** That last part is not a joke.

9/11? Never happened.

9/11? Never happened. I don't know what you're talking about. Planes? Buildings? People? Quoi? Stop talking funny. Unless you're talking about the Chilean coup of September 11, 1973, in which the United States C.I.A. apparently did not overthrow the Socialist plurality president Salvador Allende and replace him with genocidal dictator General Augusto Pinochet in a coup d'etat using Britain-manufactured Hawker-Hunter fighter jets to bomb the Presidential Palace, I fail to understand this "9/11" you speak of. You see, I am a 9/11 denialist.

Only this past week did I learn that I am a 9/11 denialist. I have a Wisconsin "conservative" blogger to thank for this revelation. Up until this discovery, I had considered myself more of a, oh, I don't know, 9/11 researcher, which I define as a terrorist who goes digging around for facts and things. But now I know I'm not. I'm actually a denialist. That's someone who refuses to acknowledge - oops, I mean admits the dearth of - a given event.

Since I am a denialist, what I really enjoy doing is pretending - oops, I mean admitting - that 9/11 never happened. Burning? Screaming? Death? Snap out of it, my boy! Blithering and blathering about this mystical "9/11" business is not earning you any vacation days from the asylum.

Here is what happened on 9/11: nothing. It was a normal day at the office, m'kay? Get that through your head. Oh, don't cry. Here, I know what will make you feel better: a trip to the World Trade Center! We'll go up in the tower, in those big elevators of theirs, the ones that go really fast. Your tummy will feel funny, but not a bad funny. I think that will cheer you up. And then, when we get to the top, we'll go to the observatory and look out upon the pristine expanses of New York City where nothing ever happened, m'kay? Well, nothing but wonderful concerts on the World Trade Center Plaza. Maybe there will be a jazz band there; we can swing dance!

The weather is beautiful, the government is a peach, the oligopolies put their pants on one leg at a time just like you, there is no such thing as white evil, and there was no 9/11. I know this because I am a 9/11 denialist, and because reverse logic tells me so.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Can I Be a Dick?

Seriously, can I? I want to be a dick. I don't feel like I should have to be dead-serious all the time. I don't think I should have to be the self-appointed Guardian of 9/11 Honor. I mean, come on, it's just Politics. Which, in turn, is just the lipstick on a pig called War Rhetoric. I want to be a dick. I am a dick.

I think people are funny. I could talk with for hours and hours and hours, just blowing minds, over and over again, but what the hell is the point when the minds are in such short supply? I'd rather have my own mind blown. So blow me.

I'm just not very impressed anymore. Not impressed with "arguments", not impressed with "debate", not impressed with "evidence" and "logic" and "thought". Things like that don't get me anymore. All this talk of Israel bombing the soul out of Lebanon, and Condoleeza Rice traipsing around Italy with her face in her wearied hands, and Richard Perle explaining to Bush how the Mistress of Death Herself is just not cockadoodledooed in the head enough to run the State Department anymore. All these musings over just how dead we are all going to be as a result of Bush's Happy Fun Time Armageddon Playset (New from Lockheed Martin! 2 to 4 Players. Ages 8 to Adult.) Not impressed. You know? What's the point? I'd rather be a dick.

Sage Francis said: Makeshift Patriot, the flag shop is out of stock; I hang myself at half mast... No, I'm not at that point. Never will be. But hang it all anyway, yes-no? Yes yes, don't get me wrong, I like reading the news and analysis from all my blogger buddies. I find what they do to be enthralling, I really do. I read about the forms death takes as often as I can. If I can be serious for just a millisecond, I honestly value being informed. But it's kind of all one thing, you know? It all kind of swirls together, like so much lavatory flotsam and jetsam towards the Great Below.

I'm really digging myself a hole here. Let me be absolutely clear: I love what my buddies are doing. I love the blogging thing, and learning, and getting the facts, and also scoping out the so-called "opposition". But there are some folks out there - nay, most folks out there - who really just don't think at all.

I know you don't believe me when I say some folks really don't think at all. You think I mean it in an exasperated way, a way that says, "Well of course they think, but they just don't seem to be able to see a few things my way." No. I mean literally. They don't think. Here, let me break it down for you.

When these non-thinking people go to "think", what they do is place their heads in the general area of a certain massive fart cloud which I will here dub the "dumbfuckanimbus cloud". Gingerly, these non-thinkers sort of push their heads through the misting sulfur essence of the dumbfuckanimbus cloud. A little of the gas enters the ear - the right ear or the left ear, doesn't matter which, because I'm not talking about liberals vs. conservatives. When enough airborne putrescence has entered their ears and lightly pressurized the inside of their skull, they quick pull an airtight hood over their heads, so that the deathalicious odor will be contained. They have to tie the hood off at the neck, which cuts off circulation, but this poses no medical threat, since their craniums are actually just primitive wooden carvings splattered with some somewhat life-like house paint and crowned with a fist full of cornsilk. What I am saying is that there are no nerve endings in or on their "heads".

Okay, I suppose I've lost you here again. You still don't believe me. Just try to keep up, okay? Because what I am telling you is absolutely true in a very literal way. I know because I've met hundreds of these "people". They exist, and they're everywhere! Moving on now: the hood, now securely smothering their "head", also obscures their vision (their eyes are those trick eyeballs you can buy at Spencer's Gifts), and so they are even more blind than before. I know that sounds silly, to say that someone can be even more blind than blind, but some things are harder to explain than others. Forgive me.

So. You've got these feverish herds of non-thinkers wandering around, waiting for a good time to take the bag off, and when they do find an excuse, the stench just wafts gently right back out, the same way it came in: through the ear. This explains why they don't know how to listen. They actually use their ears to "talk". Very strange. (What do their mouths look like? A film canister with a chunk of raw hamburger meat at the bottom, approximating a tongue. Hey, that's what it looks like. Don't kill the messenger.) Then when they're done wafting, they clear their throats (garden hose?) and claim to be thinking.

Anyway, it's that stench, and that freakish anatomy of theirs, and their crazy-making professions of individual thought, that have made me realize that you just can't convince a non-thinker of anything. You'll go crazy trying. So I have decided to become a dick. If you want to debate, argue, talk, converse - you know, normal-person activities - you have to sort of waft your point.

And I don't have that kind of patience. Maybe I'll be normal one day, again, for the first time. Until then: I'm a dick.